


Bravery Beyond Battle

by Newagenewbarricade



Series: All the wardens [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Coming Out, Gen, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-21
Updated: 2015-08-26
Packaged: 2018-04-10 13:15:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4393328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Newagenewbarricade/pseuds/Newagenewbarricade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not every moment of bravery comes from a battle. Three wardens-to-be coming out as transgender.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Young Lady Aeducan

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [More than you'd expect, fewer than you'd want](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4197099) by [Newagenewbarricade](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Newagenewbarricade/pseuds/Newagenewbarricade). 



> So Trian is an ass but is anyone really surprised? Also all three of these wardens are in my larger fic "more than you'd expect, fewer than you'd want" so if you want to read more about them that's where you want to go! any and all feedback is appreciated. especially if I did anything offensive, as a trans person myself that's obviously the last thing I'd want to do!

Jolene looked in the mirror, the stubble and awkward neither-short-nor-long hair staring back at her made her feel nauseous. She rubbed her hand against her stubble.

                “I can’t.” She said to her own reflection. She bit her lip as she turned away from it.

                “Something troubling you, my lady?” Gorim asked, he must’ve known they were alone to say that.

                “I think I need to tell my dad.” She said, anxious knot in her stomach hardening.

                Gorim walked up to her and held her hands, “Jolene, I will be by your side through everything, if you want to tell your dad then I think you should.” He kissed her nose, “I’ll be glad when everyone can see the beautiful princess that I see.”

                Jolene couldn’t meet Gorim’s gaze, she merely looked at her own feet, “How do you always know exactly what to say?”

                “Years of practice.” He replied.

                “I’m going to go see my dad, wait outside the door, if things are going bad I’ll mention silent sisters, that’s your cue to get me out of there. Okay?” Jolene asked.

                “Whatever you need me to do I’ll do for you, my princess.”

Jolene strode down the hall, confident façade hiding the shaking teenage girl beneath the surface. She pushed open the doors to her father’s chamber.

                “Father, may I have a moment?” She asked, her father seemed to be rather engaged in his discussion with Pyral.

                “We shall continue this later,” Endrin said to Harrowmont, “I always have time for my beloved son.” He said. She waited until Pyral was out of the room.

                “My boy, why do you refuse to grow out your beard? It’s traditional for all dwarven men.” Endrin asked casually.

                Jolene realized her father had unwittingly provided the perfect segue into telling him the truth,

                “Because father, it’s traditional for dwarven _men.”_ She hoped her inflections had made her intention clear enough.

                “Wait, Ellian my boy are you saying what I think you’re saying?” He asked.

                Jolene swallowed, the moment of truth, “Yes father, that’s exactly what I’m saying…” She had hoped she wouldn’t cry but the tears seemed to have their own ideas in mind. She couldn’t meet her father’s eyes. She couldn’t have been more surprised when her father pulled her into his arms.

                “My darling, I love you no matter what, do you have a different name you wish to be called?” He asked, stroking her hair and realizing why she always insisted on having it be longer than either of her brothers wore it.

                “Jolene.” She said, tearfully smiling at her father.

                “Jolene Aeducan, a strong name for an even stronger princess.” Endrin said, eyes glimmering with pride.

                “I’m glad I knew this before your naming day, I’ll have to tell the other nobles to pay more attention to their sons than their daughters.” He smiled at his daughter.

                Jolene rolled her eyes, her father had no idea of her relationship with Gorim or the fact that frankly she wouldn’t mind ending up with a wife or a husband. She however decided not to bring it up.

                “Does anyone else know?” Her father asked.

                “I told Gorim, he’s the only one who knows besides you.” Jolene said.

                “Do you want to go tell your brothers?” He asked.

                “I think I’ll go do that right now, I’m sure you and Pyral have important things to talk about anyways. Thank you, for listening dad.” She said before walking out of the room.

                She wished she could say that telling the rest of her family had gone as well as telling her father had, unfortunately that was not the case. As she walked down the hall she spotted her older brother,

                “Trian! A moment please?” She asked him.

                “What is it Ellian, forget which end to grab the sword by?” Trian sneered. Jolene raised her eyebrows, Trian and her had never gotten along,

                “I just wanted to tell you, my name isn’t Ellian anymore. I’m Jolene Aeducan and I am your sister.” She said, fiddling with a piece of hair between her fingers.

                “That explains why you’re such a poor warrior, you were supposed to be a wh-” Jolene cut off her brother with a swift sucker punch to the face.

                “Just because your little sister is a better fighter than you doesn’t mean you can degrade me!” She snarled. She strutted away to find Bhelen, he’d always been close to her they had similar views on where Orzammar needed to go to survive. She knocked on her brother’s door. Gorim was right behind her, whispering words of encouragement in her ear. The door opened Bhelen looked a little confused,

                “Something wrong Ellian?” He asked.

                “May I come in? Not sure this is something I should just say out in the hallway.” She said, eyeing the guards.

                “Oh of course, come right in.” Bhelen stepped back allowing his sister and Gorim to come into his room. She sat down across from her brother.

                “Has something happened?” Bhelen asked.

                “No I just, well there isn’t really an easy way to say this…” Her eyes remained on Gorim for a moment,

                “I don’t go by Ellian anymore…I’m also no longer your brother.”

                “By the stone did you get yourself exiled?” Bhelen sounded genuinely worried. Jolene couldn’t help but laugh,

                “Oh no nothing like that, I’m your sister, my name is Jolene.” She dared to even smile a bit when she said it.

                “Mom did always want a daughter.” Bhelen said. “How did father and Trian react?”

                “Father was fine, Trian… was Trian.” She said, not surprised at the latest reason for the rift between her and her older brother growing.

                “I’m sorry.” Bhelen said.

                “ _You_ have no reason to apologize, you didn’t imply that I can’t fight because I’m a woman.”

                “You’re the best fighter in the family I have no idea what Trian is talking about.”

                “Thank you Bhelen, I really appreciate this.” Jolene said.

                “No problem Jolene.” He said.

                Jolene was a little overwhelmed hearing her brother say her name, she went over to him and hugged him.

                “You going to do this every time I say your name?” He asked jokingly.

                “Maybe the first few times.” Jolene said.


	2. Great bear, Decent bear, Unsatisfactory bear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Linara Mahariel doesn't know why she lets Tamlen drag her into these things but somehow shes in a tree there's a bear, everyone is screaming and hey now's as good a time as any to say something that's been on her mind a while now right?

Linara was washing herself in the river, it was a ways away from the main camp. She didn’t enjoy the idea of anyone seeing her body, there were some days when she could hardly bear to look at herself. Regardless of her feelings she got dressed quickly, good timing too as her friend Tamlen was nearby,

                “Hello Tamlen, Elgar’nan what are you up to now?” She asked when she noticed her friend had his bow with him.

                “I’m going to become a fully-fledged hunter! Say Mahal do you want to help me kill a bear?” Tamlen asked.

                “Sure, not like I’ve got anything better to do that futz around with you.” Linara threw her arm around Tamlen’s shoulder.

                “That’s the spirit!” He said.

                “I’m like the sixth one you’ve asked aren’t I?” Linara asked, not that she and Tamlen weren’t close, but that he never seemed to come to her first with stupid ideas.

                “Only the second. Your brother laughed at me.”

                “That’s Movran for you.” Linara said.

                “Yeah, well I hope you’re ready to kick some great bear ass!” Tamlen said as he began running further into the woods,

                “Wait for me!” Linara called after her friend. She heard Tamlen bustling through the undergrowth of the forest. They both knew this was no way to catch a prey animal but from what Tamlen had said it didn’t seem like that would be his prey of choice today.

                “Tamlen, when you said a great bear did you mean the type of bear or did you just mean a good bear?” Linara asked.

                “Oh I’m going for a Great Bear, no space for unsatisfactory bears here!” Tamlen said.

                “Why am I friends with you again?” Linara asked, chiding her friend.

                “My stunning good looks and endless charm?” Tamlen said.

                “Oh you’ve got me Tamlen, kiss me you gorgeous elf!” She said making a dramatic “swooning” gesture.

                “You flatter me Mahal.” Tamlen said, slight blush on his cheeks that did not go unnoticed.

                Linara winked at Tamlen, “So, are you planning on killing this great bear with arrows designed for nugs?” Linara asked.

                “I’ve got my sword too don’t you worry.” He said.

                “I’m not worried.” Linara defended herself.

                “Okay good, since I might need you to be bait.” Tamlen said.

                Linara exhaled, “Why am I not surprised?”

                “Because you know me?” Tamlen said.

                Linara rolled her eyes, “That I do.” She said.

                “There’s a cave over there,” Tamlen pointed to a cave that was partially overgrown with brambles. “I know there’s a bear in there, if we can draw it out into the open we can kill it.”

                “OH now that I’m risking _my_ life suddenly it’s _us_ and _we.”_ Linara pointed out.

                “Do this for me and I’ll kiss you?” Tamlen said, Linara could tell he was only half joking.

                “You better mean that.” She said she nocked an arrow and walked toward the entrance to the cave.

                “This is a terrible idea.” She muttered to herself. She heard Tamlen get into a decent position in the bushes. She inched closer and closer to the cave she felt a bramble sticking into her leg. She shook the bramble off a tiny scratch was the only evidence left that it had ever been there. She saw a few feet into the cave a massive sleeping bear. Every muscle in her body was telling her to run, instead she drew her bow back and launched an arrow right into the bear’s nose. It opened its beady eyes and stood up bellowing. Linara ran for her life with the bear at her heels,

                “Tamlen! Don’t let it kill me!” She screamed. Birds flew away in alarm. She heard arrows whizzing as they landed in the bear’s side, not seeming to do anything more than agitate the beast. It was within swiping distance from Linara when she saw a tree, it was her only chance at this point. She jumped into the tree, climbing faster than she ever had before. She went to catch her breath on a high branch when she felt the bear’s breath at her feet. It was standing upright and it was nearly half the height of the tree.

                “Tamlen why couldn’t you have gone after a fucking good bear, or a decent bear? No it had to be a gods damned Great Bear.” She said to herself as she nocked arrow after arrow, even when they were hitting the bear’s face they were making no visible impact on the bear other than sheer irritation. She reached into her quiver for another arrow, only to find she’d run out.

                “Tamlen!” She yelled.

                “Mahal?” He called out.

                “Tamlen I’m out of arrows!” She yelled, the bear swiped at her, its claws raked across one of her legs, nearly knocking her over.

                “Tamlen! I’m hurt!” She yelled.  
                “I’m out of arrows!” He replied.

                “Tamlen,” She looked down at the enraged bear and her bleeding leg, “Tamlen I think this thing is going to kill me.” She said.

                “I’m not going to let you die Mahal!” Tamlen yelled. Linara heard the sound of blade meeting flesh and the bear let out a roar.

                “Tamlen! I’m a him’lin! My name is Linara if I die please make sure the clan knows that!” She yelled, trying to climb to a higher point.

                “You only tell me this when we’re an inch away from becoming bear food?” He yelled.

                “Well it’s now or never!” She yelled, she felt the branch beneath her crack, probably from the bear’s assault earlier.

                “By the Dread Wolf!” The branch snapped and Linara fell with it right onto the bear.

                “Mythal preserve me.” She said. She looked down on the bear, apparently getting shot full of arrows, stabbed a few times _and_ having a tree branch dropped on its skull was what finally did the thing in.

                Tamlen threw his arms around Linara,

                “Thank the gods you’re okay.” He said.

                “I think you owe me a kiss.” Linara joked.

                “That I do, Linara.” Tamlen said.

                The kiss was passionate but at the same time innocent, a I-can’t-believe-we-survived-that sort of kiss. Linara and Tamlen went back to the camp with a great bear pelt and a slightly fabricated story of their heroism and bravery in the face of certain doom. Linara never had to hide again.


	3. Once Wasn't Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alinn came out once when he was four, and again at seventeen

Alinn never remembered a time when he hadn’t been male, he didn’t remember being four years old and walking up to his father saying,

                “I don’t feel like a girl.” He did however remember his father helping him come up with the name Alinn, he remembered his sister Danya turning his skirts and dresses into tunics and pants. He did however remember the scrutiny of the circle healers.

                “Sweetie are you sure?” A healer with large eyes and human hands asked him.

                He nodded, if he responded in elvish he’d be hurt.

                “No darling your _real_ name.” How many times had he heard that one?

                Apparently nothing he ever said was enough for the circle Templars and even some of the mages. Somehow they’d found out his dead-name and now he heard it everywhere, as if the walls of the hold itself was trying to turn him into someone he’d never been. He was sitting in the apprentice’s quarters trying to decipher just what the hell he’d written during scrying. That’s when he heard it _Andranna_ it was like a ghost from a long forgotten time. _Andranna_ the name had never truly been his. _Andranna_ whoever was trying to get his attention wouldn’t get it, they were calling to someone who didn’t exist anymore, if they had ever existed.

                “Alinn.” A voice broke through the haze of lies. Alinn recognized it immediately.

                “Lyonel?” He asked.

                “You’ve been staring at the ground for ten minutes, you weren’t responding.” Lyonel explained as he sat next to Alinn.

                “I’ve been hearing the dead name all day. I fucking hate it.” Alinn said leaning on Lyonel. Lyonel wrapped his arm around Alinn,

                “It’s not you and it’s not your name. You are Alinn Surana it’s who you’ve always been and who you always will be.” Lyonel said.

                “Thank you, it’s just hard to always hear it. I don’t even know how anyone found out that name.” Alinn said.

                “I don’t know but they need to stop.” Lyonel said voicing Alinn’s thoughts exactly.

                “I could talk to Irving about it, he’s my mentor and the first enchanter. If anyone can do anything about it it would be him.”

                Lyonel kissed Alinn’s temple, “You want me to come with you?” He asked.

                “I think I’ll be okay, besides you need to make sure Jowan doesn’t do something stupid while I’m gone.”

                Lyonel fake groaned, “But I did that last time.”

                “And you’re doing it this time too, I’ll be back soon emma lath.” Alinn said.

                On his way to Irving’s office a Templar called out,

                “Nice tits Andranna.”

                Alinn spun around on his heel, “That’s not my name.” He said. He continued on his way to Irving’s hoping he wouldn’t piss off any Templars before he even got there. He reached Irving’s office. He knocked on the door. He ran a hand through his hair while he waited for a response. Irving’s door opened and Alinn walked in, the Knight Commander was in the room,

                “I can come back if you’re in the middle of something.” Alinn said, feeling the color drain from his face as Greagoir made eye contact with him,

                “That won’t be necessary miss.” The Commander said as he exited. Alinn felt a knot in his gut and an intense desire to chop off all his hair again.

                “Take a seat Alinn.” Irving said as he went back to his desk.

                “It’s about uh, about things that have been happening here in the circle lately…” Alinn began.

                “What’s been happening?” Irving asked.

                “Somehow the entire circle seems to have found out my dead-name and now hardly anyone besides my closest friends are even acknowledging who I really am. Is there any way you could get the Templars to stop calling me Andranna? And if it isn’t too much, could the circle please acknowledge me as male? Wearing these robes” he motioned to the robes all the girl apprentices were given, “just makes it worse.”

                Irving nodded pensively, “You’ll have the proper robes by this afternoon. And I will have Greagoir talk to the Templars about how they address you but I can make no promises.” Irving explained.

                “It’ll still be better than it is now. I truly appreciate this Irving.” Alinn said.  
                “Go to the stockroom about the robes.” Irving said.

                “I will.” Alinn said as he got out of his chair. Irving was writing something on parchment as Alinn left his office. Alinn went down the stairs and to the stockroom, he explained to one of the tranquil that he needed the male apprentice robes. When he finally received them he couldn’t have been happier. They not only hid his hips but they drew attention away from his chest which he’d always been self-conscious about. He went to the apprentice’s quarters Lyonel was waiting for him,

                “You look happy.” Lyonel said.

                “I _am_ happy, Irving said he’d talk to the Templars about my name and now I finally have male robes!” Alinn was practically giddy.

                “You look great ma halla.” Lyonel said as he stood up.

                Alinn smiled brighter than Lyonel had ever seen, he wanted to do everything in his power to make sure Alinn always had a reason to smile like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alinn is my tiny precious son and i love him. any and all feedback appreciated! If you want to know more about these characters all of them (including lyonel) are main characters in my longer fic "more than you'd expect fewer than you'd want" please check it out! I love hearing from my readers even if its just keyboard smashing!!


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